Monday, September 22, 2014

Confessions of a Storm Chaser

When I'm not feeling well, the first thing my husband says to me isn't "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Can I get you anything?" It's "DO NOT GET ON WEB MD." This is usually immediately followed by me hastily clicking the home button on my phone and pretending I was only scrolling through Facebook. 

I've gotten very good at covert Googling while "going to the bathroom."

For the last week and a half I've been battling the crud which has overtaken our house. At one point I was convinced my lung was collapsing under the weight of the mucus filling my bronchi. Kudos to my husband for not laughing out loud when I told him I SWEAR IT SOUNDED SO WEIRD WHEN I INHALED. 

I'll forgive him for laughing on the inside. 

My propensity for anxiety isn't limited to hypochondria. Confession: I will pretty much worry about anything. And everything. This is not the part of my personality that I'm most proud of. While I was coughing and sniffling and freaking out over the possibility that I might have to go to the ER doctor, I started reading Kate DiCamillo's latest novel, Flora & Ulysses, in which Flora is a self-professed natural-born cynic with a love for comic books (Ulysses is a squirrel, in case you were wondering). After my husband's very sweet reassurances that I was not, in fact, dying, but simply had a nasty cold, I couldn't help but laugh and read him a section of the book:

        "At the back of each issue of The Illuminated Adventures of the Amazing Incandesto! there was a series of bonus comics. One of Flora's very favorite bonus comics was entitled TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU! As a cynic, Flora found it wise to be prepared. Who knew what horrible, unpredictable thing would happen next?"

I'm rather uncomfortable with how much Flora and I have in common.

Which is why I need reminders like these: